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Saturday, January 10, 2009
8:09 PM Wow, I can’t imagine that we have already gone through the whole thing. Done a lot of preparations, made a lot of friends and yes of course, gained a great unique experience. Sorry for taking such a long time to reflect on my trip. This service learning made me more matured and also stronger to brave those challenges in life. But still, learning will never come to an end. I will still try to ‘upgrade’ my mentality in life. Or perhaps there’s no such thing as ‘upgrade’ but to discover different perspectives and to believe in them. Oh yeah, Yunnan…I first came to the program with that ‘superhero’ mentality. Yunnan I have come to help you all and ease your burdens away, then felt so honored after coming back –that sort of thing. But I guess that’s what we will feel if you try to help others without much thinking or understanding those we are helping. Then bit-by-bit, this ego starts to drop off. Thanks to my teachers who tried their best to deliver the message to us. Actually, at first I thought why do we need such a long time to prepare? Just go there and help! We are wasting time. The end product is still the same anyway. Then, I realized that the focus was not only about helping them, it’s also about us. What are we going to learn from them after all the work is done? That’s something I’ve never given a thought! All I know or accustomed to is that we help others as much as we can and at the end, we feel spiritually happy and light. But well, that feeling tends to make me feel kind of proud. Okay, the trip. My mood varied during the trip. I felt happy, nervous, sad, curious, angry and also guilty. My first day has already shocked me. Those parade of children welcoming us with their percussions and claps, made us look like some bunch of ministers visiting them. Felt happy and also guilty, we are only building a road! But we ended up not building it at all. Simply because they have actually done it before we reached Yunnan. Then, our poor teachers had to keep on asking the teachers in Tu Chiao of what can we do to help. Lesson learnt: be flexible when things go unexpectedly different. A family offered their hospitality and we stayed in their double-storey house. It was a pretty rich family indeed. Stereo system, electric and gas cooker and a well near us, it was just too comfortable for our service-learning. Tian Chiao was one of the two siblings in the family. We learnt a lot from him. I felt that that they offered too much for us that we are actually burdening them instead of helping. Like, they made the area around the well safe for us, always make those charcoal fire, offered free ingredients and many other things. I felt guilty because we couldn’t repay this deed. Even if we want to, they won’t accept it. I love the kids. They had this attitude for studying that can easily make our Singaporean students ashamed. They love to study and always do it. Anyway, I’m pretty surprised that their Primary 5 students are learning algebra when we have it during Secondary 1. So, I’m humbled by their caliber and felt that we are the ones who are backwards. What an irony that we come from a much more developed country but are actually less smart. We should really drop our ego and not judge them negatively by their old, rural school. We should look into others strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses. I believe that this should be an attitude to have to be a better person. I was emotionless when we were leaving Tu Chiao for another school while these beautiful beings cried and tried to follow us. I mean, well people enter and go off in our lives. We will meet thousands of people later down the road. I do care very much for them and feel sad that we might not meet again but we’ve got to be strong, it’s part and parcel of life isn’t it? Next stop, we went another primary school that was quite fitted with great facilities . My god, we had a bed provided each in our shared rooms. Bad feelings started to come. What’s this?! No! I want my dusty room back. Also, I want to sleep on my sleeping bag. I’m much more comfortable with those conditions at Tu Chiao. All these came to my mind. I was so shocked that they wanted us to build some parts of the playground. They don’t NEED a playground, they WANT it, I kept thinking of this. I was quite angry about it. But after the guidance from Ms Azyanti, I could accept it. I was spoilt with those experiences and worse conditions in Tu Chiao and was so accustomed to them that I developed this ego. That’s why I couldn’t accept those comfort provided. It was quite a hard work on the playground. But I felt happy when they were done. We left for the hotel after 2 days at the school. When we came back, I just couldn’t say much things, I just want to go home and rest. I thought about that trip for days, reflecting on my actions and what happened. I realized that what I thought that I’ve learnt were not really new, things that we already know like to be flexible in times of changes, not to judge people by their cover and to look into people’s strength instead of their weaknesses. However, it was the experience that made us a different person. We can easily say these things to other people but we might not really understand them or to ‘feel’ its importance in our lives. It is this trip that gave me that experience. I would like to thank my teachers for guiding me through all this and my L.E.G.O pals who went through those sweet and hard times together during the trip and also before the trip even though you all were feeling distressed at some moments. Love you all! Labels: ni'mat Saturday, December 20, 2008
Post Trip Reflections - Bing Hao
2:35 AM 3 weeks have passed and I thought I should get started with my reflection before I lose all my thoughts. Be prepared for a very long reflection haha, coz I think I will probably digress a lot. Yunnan still feels like a dream to me lol. I still remember how I was at LT1 with leonard listening to a talk by our seniors about their Yunnan trip last year. That was when I came to know about TOOP. At that time, what immediately came to my mind was this hk drama called “天涯侠医The Last Breakthrough” and somehow it became my motivation to join this trip. Thinking back, I really wonder how I manage to get through my TOOP interview and Leo husting talking about Africa and this particular drama-.- I must really thank the teachers for giving me this chance although I handed in my application form late. No matter how mentally unprepared I was b4 the trip, when I’m at the village, I know I will never regret coming. I can still recall almost everything that happen from the airport all the way until the village in Yunnan, yet these memories seem so blur now because I don’t know what I felt at those time. At first when I heard that we are staying in a farmer’s house instead of the school, I thought I was a bit sad (now is of course a different story). It was not because of the living environment but for the fact that the school is on top of the hill and if we stay there, I can wake up every day to see a whole piece of field and mountains(x However, everything turns out better than I thought. The people there were especially sincere, warm and hospitable! (Maybe it is because we are from other country and we are doing something for them, to be practical - monetary wise. But no matter what, I choose to believe that they are truly nice people and those tears were real.) Without the teachers, students, villagers and tian shu’s family, I guess our experience there will not be that great. Come to think of it, perhaps because we stayed in tian shu house instead of the school, we actually learn more about their village life and their farming culture. To think that before that we didn’t even expect to end up in a farmer’s house; I mean we could actually choose to stay in the school, or the teachers could. And yes I think life is the same. Every time we make choices, we won’t know what we may actually get in the end. But at the same time, there is no right or wrong choice because what really determines is what you do after u made the choice. Maybe I can say that if we stayed in the school, we might experience or gain something else, but no point. There are too many ‘ifs’ in life, and there are so many factors affecting each situation. I shall move on. Actually since the first day, I already wanted and wondered whether we could climb up those mountains around the area, and I was very glad that we did it the next 2 days, with the help of tian chao and tian bo(= The hiking we had on the 3rd day was especially memorable. I know that some of us were a bit unhappy with the long and tiring walk but at least we were all quite satisfied and proud that we survive it. I mean only when you walk then u realizes how big the place is. To be honest, we should think for tian bo also because the night before, when I told him about the hiking, I can tell how eager he was and how much he wanted to bring us around. Although we didn’t manage to reach the destination, at least we tried our best, so no more ‘if’, haha. I also remember this incident when tian shu met his son tian bo around his school area and wanted to give him money to spend but he didn’t accept it, saying he have enough to spend. I know it’s just a very normal scene, but it was kind of heartwarming. I thought tian bo is really different, he is very sensible, really. I come to that conclusion not just because of this incident. Next about tu qiao primary (= Like what Ms Koh told us, actually the most important service that we provided for them is the money, the donation. And I thought the other stuffs seem more like a cultural exchange because we learn and experience things like weeding while they learn about our culture by interacting with us. Our driver told me that too, he said we’re there more like a tour and experience kind of thing. Since I talk about service and stuffs, I shall also mention the day where Dr Tan brought us to this rehab centre or something. It kind of made me come to reality, to realize that being a doctor, helping people, saving lives is not easy. I mean I never thought of becoming a doctor or a hero saving lives but I guess now, my dream to Africa is more for the wild and nature! (x Okay back to topic. In my opinion, what really made the bond that we have with the tu qiao kids is basically their sincerity. It made that one week seem more than it was, not just seem longer but also more meaningful. I think the last 2 days were especially emotional, and I believe it wouldn’t have been so if they didn’t cry. The harder they cried the more reluctant we were to leave, and the fact that we probably will never see them again really sadden the whole thing. Just hope that they will remember us and study hard (I should say that to myself><). Oh and my favorite girl from p4, I just realize she is holding on to a handphone in a photo! Lol but please I don’t ‘like’ her or anything, just thought that she is very different and want to treat her like a younger sibling because I have always been the youngest in the family and I always wanted a younger sibling that I can care and protect(x In a way, actually we have so much to say because of the rather vast difference btw the lives there and our lives in Singapore. But no two places are similar and so I thought we should not compare directly and ask why it is like that here but not there. Because like I said, there are many factors affecting a situation which we do not even know. If everything could be known, then we won’t be having global recession now-.- We may lead a better and richer lives in Singapore, but their simple lives can also bring happiness; we may have a lot of stress with school and work in Singapore, but they may also have a lot of worries about their harvest, their future education or even what to eat and wear tomorrow etc. There are always good and bad to everyone’s lives, so we should not come to conclusions when what we did was to bring along our ‘good’ (e.g. money, camera, handphone, heat packs…) to experience their ‘good’ (their carefree lives). Perhaps that is why we didn’t suffer enough, lol, but that’s not the point also; we’re there for service learning, so at least we really learnt something there. Anw I thought this whole paragraph can be dedicated back to me because I think I’m like the one who is constantly missing the carefree life in Yunnan and asking myself why Singapore can’t be the same =.= Oh well, talking about all these just make me miss those times even more ><. I never knew of a place where u can just leave your doors unlocked at night and leave your belongings hanging around but never go missing, but now at least I know of one… Now that we are back, all the cooking, animals, mountains, tu qiao, stars, people, basketball, weeding etc… can only be left as memories. This trip is really meaningful for most of us and we should make it more meaningful by applying what we learnt there back here. For me, I should really work hard like my p6 kids in tu qiao! Hmm okay I am stuck and don’t know how to continue already :/ Although I still have a lot of thoughts but I guess the rest are more for myself. Sometimes I wonder how long our team will stay bonded together, but I guess no matter what, this memory we share will make us always remember each other!(: I know my reflection is very long and I'm sorry if some are crap, but yes i shall end here xD Bing Hao 19/12/08 Thursday, December 4, 2008
L.E.G.O. forever
1:51 AM I was just looking through all the photos and all the memories came pouring back at me. At this time last week we were on the plane travelling back home and we would land in less than an hour’s time. Though it’s been a week already, I still miss everything there and you guys. How time flies, but it’s time to accept reality and adapt back to the lifestyle here. We overcame so many difficulties, obstacles and conflicts along the way, and instead, we’ve built so many friendships. To me, this trip was very enriching and memorable and I’ve learnt many lessons which I believe would be of much use. Thank you L.E.G.O. for this wonderful experience!
with love,
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Photos!
4:25 PM Hello! Here are some pictures that Li Jun took. I will make a few copies and leave it in my letterslot 139 and you all can share amongst yourself. Some pictures are quite good. Brings back some nice memories. Enjoy! Cheers, Ms Tan
Xie xie ni!
12:08 AM I'd like to thank: Ms Azyanti - for leading The Liberals and for being with us. we really had a fun time together and it's great witnessing your different facets. you're not that scary! (oops. haha.) anyhow, thanks for the sweet note and hope your numb toes/fingers/whatever it is would recover soon. Ms Liew - for leading the programme team all this while. really gotta thank you for all the guidance during the planning stage. we wouldn't have been able to accomplish so much without you. hope you had a memorable birthday! (you know, they say cream's actually good for your skin.) Ms Tan - for leading the entire team and being there. you're really approachable and amicable, providing relief when we're all tensed up or plain tired. and of course, thanks for the wet wipes the tissues the biscuits the bananas and the vitamin C's! The Programmers - for bearing with me and all. and for dedicating so much effort into planning, submitting proposals after proposals after proposals. i guess before the trip we're all worried whether things would go well, and thankfully there's no major disruption (despite the many changes). am really glad to have you guys with me along the way. Everyone - for, well, everything. i know things weren't perfect (the toilet, the cold, the last-minute changes and all), but it's great that we overcame obstacles together. and despite the many flaws/deficiencies in our programme, you all were able to improvise and make it work. (seems that you all enjoyed teaching.. no comments but yeah.) i had a wonderful time. special thanks go to The Liberals and The Greedy Gang! (: i know you guys'd understand even if i don't type, right? it's a lifetime of experience compressed into two weeks' time. 真的,謝謝你們! merry x'mas. enjoy the party! -sauyee Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Vanessa's post-trip reflections :)
2:23 PM okay. dont frequent the blog but still i'm here to reflect! okay sounds forced. but it's not. and if you all don't mind reading bad english, here i go! It's going to be long. Cause i'm naggy! :) For me, i signed up for OCIP thinking that this will be somewhat similiar to my secondary school overseas trip. going there to render our service and do as much as we can. BUT this wasn't it! I learnt that this is not just CIP but SL. It's the first time i hear about SL, cool concept though! Then, i thought, "hey okay so we are going there to help them! going there to make their lives better etc?" Again i was wrong. "They are self-sufficient. They can survive without us. We are just there to make a little difference in my mind." This whole chunk of words just keep running in my mind the whole year round after orientation. I don't know if it's a bad thing but it made me realised that "hey i'm not going there to make their lives better. I'm going there to make my life better. I go there to learn to be a better person in some ways." Yes so i carried this mindset with me all the way till the trip. Before sep, i was really really uncertain about this whole trip even as we planned for the activities and the programmes. I WONDER HOW are these things going to work. I WONDER HOW am i going to adapt. I was told i had very high abilities to adapt to new environment, yes but i still wonder. Not because i doubt myself, but because we have not seen the place, we have not experience much of a rural lifestyle, we do not live in the cold and stuff like that. Upon leaving Singapore airport, i started to wonder if i made a right choice in coming for OCIP. Upon touching down in China, i felt terrible, be it because of the plane or myself wondering too much. But i told myself, " hey you're already here. get on with life!"and so i did. And it definitely was not a wrong decision. Enjoyed myself throughout the trip. I cant deny there were moments that i felt really irritated and don't get what am i doing in yunnan, but still i survived, thanks to all of you for injecting all your positivity into me! At Tu Qiao, the host and the students were really warm and hospitable, to the extent that i felt like digging a hole to hide. Felt that we didn't do much for them and they just put all their 100% into welcoming us. It's really amazing how they can treat others, or in fact strangers so sincerely from the bottom of their hearts. That touched me. And we even stayed at Tian Chao's house for free! I've been thinking about this from the time i realised it, BUT i just can't figure it out. Maybe it's just that they are different from us and that they (rural people) actually to a large extent value every relationship above money. Seeing the children there just kept made me reflecting about the children in Singapore, especially about our education system that most of us have taken granted for. Teaching and interacting with the children made me learn how to cherish what i have in Singapore, be it my family, friends or anything else. At the 2nd school, i was like the others. "What are we doing here with stone chairs, cemented floor and double decker beds?" Back then, in my secondary school trip, i had double decker beds too. But i didn't think much of it. Somehow those double decker beds now disturbed me. It is now a luxury to me. ANOTHER BUT! Miss azyanti said " the children in this school live really far away and that's why they have a hostel. The stone chairs and tables are donated by another school. It's not up to us to determine if the 'playground' is a need or a want for them. If this is heaven to the children studying here, so be it. MAKE IT HEAVEN FOR THEM. "yupp. That changed my perception of the school and yes, L.E.G.O completed the job as planned! It's true that we pass judgements too quickly based on superficial things and that is definitely something i learn and take away from this 2nd school. Anyway my love is a really cool song. that's why i'm blasting it now while reflecting. it sort of holds a deeper meaning to me other than just singing it for fun. " I wonder how, I wonder why. I wonder where they are. The days we had, the songs we sang together ". This is like a line or two from the song, my love. I thought it was really meaningful cause somehow everytime i hear the team singing this song, i somewhat can feel the bond and friendship we shared and will continue to share. There were conflicts within the group during the trip, be it small or big, openly or hidden under the carpet, but i'm proud to say that we did work as a team to overcome all these obstacles. And through our sharing of life stories, i was really amazed how we could share so much about ourselves. I really thank you guys for that. You've shown me what's trust. Through these 14days, i've learnt that actually some things i deemed as important wasn't that important. My priorities in life have changed, i'll say. And other than learning from the people there, i believed i've learnt a lot from you guys! thank you so much for making my trip such an enjoyable and unforgettable one! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Whether it's a life-changing trip, i will not say anything, because it's not for me to judge if i've changed in terms of character. last words: L.E.G.O ALL THE WAY! :)) Monday, December 1, 2008
Farah's Post-Trip Reflections
10:47 PM Hey All! I'm finally here for my reflections after spending the afternoon rolling around on my bed... I love reading all of your reflections and they do bring back sweet memories (: I hope everyone's feeling better already! As for me, I can't believe I've gotten so freaking dark and everyone around me can't stop saying how gross I look now ): I spent close to 40bucks on face whitening products can you believe it. This is what I call desperation. So anyways, here goes! I first came for the trip with doubts and insecurities because honestly, I really didn't know what to expect. I was almost very homesick on the first day but I kept telling myself that things will get better and true enough, it did. Each day it got better, and with friends around me who are just so hyper and full of life, the effect did rub off on me too. And for that, I thank you, LEGO for being such awesome peeps with great positivity and personalities (: Like everyone else, adaptibility was key for me. Personally, I've done things on the trip which I have never expected or imagined myself to do. Putting on five layers of clothes in Singapore would be nuts, in fact it's an understatement, but back there I found that five layers couldn't even keep me comfortably warm. I guess it's due to my low threshold for cold but gradually I began to get used to the weather and managed to cope better. Not bathing for five straight days nearly took my sanity away because I started developing rashes and feeling uncomfortable but come to think of it, it wasn't as horrible as I had imagined. The weather was cold and not humid for one, so not bathing there was more bearable to a certain extent. Having survived the toilets there is one of my biggest achievements too. I am quite a hygiene and cleanliness freak so the toilets were pretty much a big deal to me. I'm very glad and proud of myself that I didn't complain much and accepted the conditions as they were because in a way, it made me happier and helped me cope better. And I also remember telling some friends back there "Wow now when I go to the toilet see shit also no kick already!" This is the part where making do with whatever we have, with positivity no less, really comes to play. I am quite moved by the home visits and they made me reflect about what I have here in Singapore. During our walk to the homes, it struck me how much the children there value education that they really didn't mind braving the weather, the rocky terrain and the long journey just to get to school. It somehow puts me to shame because my school is very accessible to me including an efficient public transportation system in the country yet I whine about school and find it a drag. I'm honestly hoping that this will change my attitude towards school and maybe motivate me to produce better (academic) results. I am also really awed by how hospitable the villagers are towards us although they didn't have much to offer. It was definitely a very humbling experience because it showed me that one can still feel at home and comfortable, even without possession of luxury items. They really made us feel at home; personally, I don't think that I'll ever reach that stage of hospitality in handling guests and to me, their hospitable nature will always remain as beyond amazing in my memory. One interesting thing that some of my group members and I observed is that the families there are very close to each other, despite parents spending long hours working at the fields and children spending majority of their time in school. This is the case for Singapore families too but I feel that it is rare that we find close-knitted families back home. This might sound like a sweeping statement, but this is just what I feel. Could this be due to the lack of effort in maintaining good family spirit or do we simply consider it less important a responsibility compared to say, completing our tasks at work/school? Teaching the kids in Tu Qiao was a very sweet and enriching experience for me too but it was such a pity that communication was a problem for me. I admit that at times I do feel frustrated because I felt that there wasn't much I could do and my interaction with the kids was quite limited. I guess that was why I wasn't thaat emotional when we had to leave them for Xundian although I deep down I was sad and would definitely miss seeing their happy and innocent faces every afternoon. When we first started teaching, the kids seem to be very shy of us but as time passed, they became more outspoken, responsive and active. This put a smile on my face because it showed that they were enjoying our lessons and that we were somehow having an impact on them. I was exceptionally overwhelmed by their reactions during English lessons. Despite not having an English background, they were very eager to learn and from where I was standing, I could see how much their faces lit up and their concentration and enthusiasm in reciting the alphabets. It was also very heartwarming when the kids gathered around my hip in front of the blackboard to clarify their doubts. I felt immense joy and satisfaction in helping the out; the rush of emotions I experienced was just amazingly undescribable. Lastly, throughout my 14 days in Yunnan, the one thing that I noticed in the people is that they're easily contented, not that it is a bad thing at all. It is the little things in life which makes them really happy - that is going to school for the kids and for the parents - just the fact that their children are receiving the education they deserve and also simply by being surrounded by their loved ones. Again, it made me think about my own life and how I am hardly satisfied with things. Somehow, there is always something for me to be unhappy about, be it bad grades or the most trivial of things. Through this trip, I am now open to the fact that when you really think about it, actually it indeed doesn't take much for you to be happy. I know this has been very long and difficult to read but I really appreciate it that you all have spent the time reading a piece of me thoughts. It has a been one amazing journey with every single one of you... I have emerged from the trip a better and more mature person, and I'm very sure all of you have, too. Very very lucky to have seen a shooting star, FARAH! |
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