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Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Vanessa's post-trip reflections :)
2:23 PM


okay. dont frequent the blog but still i'm here to reflect! okay sounds forced. but it's not. and if you all don't mind reading bad english, here i go! It's going to be long. Cause i'm naggy! :)

For me, i signed up for OCIP thinking that this will be somewhat similiar to my secondary school overseas trip. going there to render our service and do as much as we can. BUT this wasn't it! I learnt that this is not just CIP but SL. It's the first time i hear about SL, cool concept though! Then, i thought, "hey okay so we are going there to help them! going there to make their lives better etc?" Again i was wrong. "They are self-sufficient. They can survive without us. We are just there to make a little difference in my mind." This whole chunk of words just keep running in my mind the whole year round after orientation. I don't know if it's a bad thing but it made me realised that "hey i'm not going there to make their lives better. I'm going there to make my life better. I go there to learn to be a better person in some ways." Yes so i carried this mindset with me all the way till the trip.

Before sep, i was really really uncertain about this whole trip even as we planned for the activities and the programmes. I WONDER HOW are these things going to work. I WONDER HOW am i going to adapt. I was told i had very high abilities to adapt to new environment, yes but i still wonder. Not because i doubt myself, but because we have not seen the place, we have not experience much of a rural lifestyle, we do not live in the cold and stuff like that. Upon leaving Singapore airport, i started to wonder if i made a right choice in coming for OCIP. Upon touching down in China, i felt terrible, be it because of the plane or myself wondering too much. But i told myself, " hey you're already here. get on with life!"and so i did. And it definitely was not a wrong decision. Enjoyed myself throughout the trip. I cant deny there were moments that i felt really irritated and don't get what am i doing in yunnan, but still i survived, thanks to all of you for injecting all your positivity into me!

At Tu Qiao, the host and the students were really warm and hospitable, to the extent that i felt like digging a hole to hide. Felt that we didn't do much for them and they just put all their 100% into welcoming us. It's really amazing how they can treat others, or in fact strangers so sincerely from the bottom of their hearts. That touched me. And we even stayed at Tian Chao's house for free! I've been thinking about this from the time i realised it, BUT i just can't figure it out. Maybe it's just that they are different from us and that they (rural people) actually to a large extent value every relationship above money. Seeing the children there just kept made me reflecting about the children in Singapore, especially about our education system that most of us have taken granted for. Teaching and interacting with the children made me learn how to cherish what i have in Singapore, be it my family, friends or anything else.

At the 2nd school, i was like the others. "What are we doing here with stone chairs, cemented floor and double decker beds?" Back then, in my secondary school trip, i had double decker beds too. But i didn't think much of it. Somehow those double decker beds now disturbed me. It is now a luxury to me. ANOTHER BUT! Miss azyanti said " the children in this school live really far away and that's why they have a hostel. The stone chairs and tables are donated by another school. It's not up to us to determine if the 'playground' is a need or a want for them. If this is heaven to the children studying here, so be it. MAKE IT HEAVEN FOR THEM. "yupp. That changed my perception of the school and yes, L.E.G.O completed the job as planned! It's true that we pass judgements too quickly based on superficial things and that is definitely something i learn and take away from this 2nd school.

Anyway my love is a really cool song. that's why i'm blasting it now while reflecting. it sort of holds a deeper meaning to me other than just singing it for fun. " I wonder how, I wonder why. I wonder where they are. The days we had, the songs we sang together ". This is like a line or two from the song, my love. I thought it was really meaningful cause somehow everytime i hear the team singing this song, i somewhat can feel the bond and friendship we shared and will continue to share. There were conflicts within the group during the trip, be it small or big, openly or hidden under the carpet, but i'm proud to say that we did work as a team to overcome all these obstacles. And through our sharing of life stories, i was really amazed how we could share so much about ourselves. I really thank you guys for that. You've shown me what's trust. Through these 14days, i've learnt that actually some things i deemed as important wasn't that important. My priorities in life have changed, i'll say. And other than learning from the people there, i believed i've learnt a lot from you guys! thank you so much for making my trip such an enjoyable and unforgettable one! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Whether it's a life-changing trip, i will not say anything, because it's not for me to judge if i've changed in terms of character.

last words:
L.E.G.O ALL THE WAY! :))
wilkommen
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